Do we see what they see?

Men and women have been created differently. We think differently, we do sports differently, we like different types of things, and we respond differently in the same situation. When it comes to clothing, the same principle applies. As females, we stand in front of the mirror, checking out our hair, worrying about how this outfit makes us look. Does it make me look fat? Does it emphasize that figure flaw that bothers me? We may look at an outfit and just be overtaken by how cute it is—the style, the color, the design.

A guy does not look at women’s clothing the same way. He has been created to enjoy a woman’s physical beauty, and the type of clothing she wears or the way she presents herself may stir up thoughts in his mind about her body. He is very easily subject to being physically stimulated by what he sees, or the picture he is teased into completing.

Have you heard the announcement sometimes on the radio—“This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. It is only a test!”? Well, there is something we all have, called the autonomic nervous system, which is our emergency system. And we don’t get to hear the announcement before it goes into effect! This is a response system that we don’t even realize is there at times. Imagine these scenarios:

1. You are driving down the road. The car in front of you suddenly stops and you immediately put on your brakes to avoid hitting it. As the distance between the 2 vehicles narrows, you get this sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. By the time you hear the crunch of metal and plastic, your heart is pounding and your palms may be sweating. As you attempt to get out of your vehicle to survey the damage, you realize that your knees are weak and you are shaky.

2. You have found it to be a tough school year. It has been a busy week and you were up late getting your homework finished, with no extra time to study for the test in Math. You were hoping for a little time to look over the material after finishing your English assignment. Your heart sinks and your stomach feels like it turns over as your teacher says, it's time for a math test now.

3. Your family is watching a movie together. As the music intensifies, you don=t even realize that you are sitting on the edge of your seat, holding your breath and clenching your fists. You snuggle closer to Dad. When the tense scene is over, it seems like everyone lets their breath out all at once.

4. You are delivering papers on your daily paper route. As you approach one house, you remember that there is a mean dog that sometimes is outside at this time of day. As you round the corner your eyes are wide, you are holding your breath and your heart is racing. When you see that the dog is not out, you breathe a sigh of relief, quickly leave the paper, and hurry on.

What has happened in each of these scenarios? The autonomic nervous system has kicked in and caused the responses to a stressful situation to occur without your even having to think about it! You just experienced a test of your emergency response system without any announcement having to be made.

This is what happens when a man is visually stimulated by a female dressed inappropriately. The bodily changes that come over him happen before he can even think about it. He may not have any time to remove himself from the situation before his mind is triggered. He then has to decide how he will handle this. Matthew 5:28 says, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Going back to the forbidden fruit that Eve held out to Adam in the Garden of Eden, we as women have to think about whether we are holding out forbidden fruit to the men around us by the way we dress. We have a responsibility to keep from being the cause of the autonomic response and possibly leading a man into adulterous thoughts.

God has created a man to be intoxicated by a woman=s beauty, and when this occurs in the context of marriage, it is a beautiful thing blessed by God. But when we are in a different life situation than marriage, we females can be like candles among straw or gunpowder.

Robert Baxter, a 17^th century pastor, said to women of his time, You must not lay a stumbling-block in their way, nor blow up the fire of their lust. . . You must walk among sinful persons, as you would do with a candle among straw or gunpowder, or else you may see the flame which you did not foresee, when it is too late to quench it.

(Demonstration) Each of us is like a candle. Does it make you nervous to think of this candle being lit around this straw? It is dangerous, because a spark could easily fall before I can stop it, no matter how hard I try. If I think ahead, take preventive action and put a protective glass around the candle, it is safer to walk around and there is not so much danger of dropping a spark or hot wax on the straw. The light still shines through the glass but it is protected. We have the choice of casting light in the darkness of a sinful world or igniting a dangerous fire.

Although there have been various ways of dress in every time period which have been thought to be daring and provocative, there seems to have been a progression over time to less and less clothing being worn in our society.

Jeff Pollard, author of Christian Modesty and the Public Undressing of America, traces the history of swim wear and shows how designers have encouraged and the public has accepted over time-- the lack of covering and the immodesty of the beaches and pools.

Perhaps you have heard the story of the frog put into water which is gradually heated that allows itself to be slowly cooked to death. It does not jump out and save itself, because it just adjusts to the temperature of the water until it dies. Have we allowed ourselves to be immersed in a mindset that allows and even encourages uncovering our bodies for public display? Perhaps it is time for us to THINK and jump out of this hot water before our society succumbs completely!

Prayer: Father, help us to realize the effect our manner of dress or actions can have on the men around us. Help us to be a light in the darkness rather than a spark igniting a dangerous fire. Would you give us the presence of mind to think about an outfit and its presentation? We want to make a difference in our world for You.